


Ebb and Flow

by asongstress1422



Series: Fire in the Stars [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fighting, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lightsabers, Mental Health Issues, Prison, Public Displays of Affection, Resistance, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, The Force, Therapy, War, War Crimes, fear mongering, light vs dark, protective!rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 17:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15224162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongstress1422/pseuds/asongstress1422
Summary: Ben's life after joining the Resistance is trying but Rey is there with him every step of the way.Written with inspiration from LittleChmura's lovely Reylo artwork





	Ebb and Flow

**Author's Note:**

> Part 7 - Please check out the rest of the story :)
> 
> Thank you nzfangirl01, NoctisSicarius, ReyloIsBalance, and myhappylittletrees for your comments on the previous parts. 
> 
> ps. if there are taggs anyone feels I should add, please let me know.

Please check out LittleChmura's art work that was the [main inspiration](http://littlechmura.tumblr.com/post/170694458871/fanart-friday-reylo-triptych-part-2) for this chapter.

* * *

“Maybe it’s better if I stay in here,” Ben voiced sitting on the edge of the cell’s cot as Rey paced the area before him. The moment Medical had decided he was stable enough they had him immediately discharged where in he was transferred to Lock Up. That was over two weeks ago and everyone seemed more than willing to throw away the proverbial key.

“How is this better?” she snapped, fuming.

“People feel safer with me in here, they feel like they’ve won something by keeping me captive. As long as I get to see you, I’m fine with giving them that.”

“But it’s not right!”

“Rey.” He caught her hand as she marched pass, tugging her to a standstill. She looked at down at him questioningly but he didn’t raise his eyes as he fiddled with her fingers. “I’m not a good man. I know this. The whole _kriffing_ galaxy knows this. I’ve killed _worlds;_ I’ve wanted to kill you.”

“But you’ve changed,” she protested. Using his hold on her, she pulled herself onto his lap running her fingers through his hair to get him to look at her, “I’m holding the proof of that in my hands. You chose to come, to step into the light and I’m going to damn sure this whole _kriffing galaxy_ gets to see that change.”

“What if I haven’t?” The words were soft, dragged from a dark place where his nightmares ran free to torment him. “What if I’m only here to get resistance secrets to destroy you once and for all.”

She fisted her hand in his hair, yanking back sharply to expose his pale throat. He didn't resist when she placed her teeth against it and laving her tongue against his pulse. “If that's true, then I’ll kill you myself.”

* * *

The next day he asked for a audience with the General, specifically requesting Rey not be present. Trying not to be hurt she sat outside the cell door for the five hours it took Leia to walk back out again. Ben followed on her heels to the distrust of the waiting guards.

“He’s all yours,” Leia proclaimed as Rey hopped to attention. For the last three weeks she had been in a constant argument with the General about Ben’s release and while she did not seem happy at the state of affairs, there was a defiant light of approval in the woman’s deep brown eyes. “If he gets into any trouble whatsoever, I am holding you responsible.”

Ben hissed something under his breath and was ignored.

“Of course, General,” Rey replied.

Leia gave a sharp nod and turned down the hall gesturing for the guards to follow. They were apprehensive at leaving the Supreme Leader of the First Order loose in the hands of a young female but didn’t hesitate too long. When the general barked, even wordlessly, you obeyed.

Soon the hall was empty save for the two of them.

He stepped forward, folding his large frame to lay his head on her shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered brokenly into her neck.

“Hey.” She wrapped her arms around his back sensing his need for comfort even as curiosity ate her alive.

“I got--” he cleared his throat, words tight. “I got leniency for all First Order troops that surrender in the next three months. And fair trials for upper command if they follow suit. Leia,” he swallowed again, pressing his face deeper against her skin, “Leia is getting a message ready to broadcast galaxy wide.”

She kissed his jaw. Words weren’t needed, her side of the bond practically sang with how proud she was of him. His shivered with anxiety.

“I-uh,” he lifted his head from her shoulder, eyes down cast, as if he was cutting himself off from her solace until she knew everything, “I asked for a copy of the recording.” He held out a small drive no bigger than the a pinky nail, his height lessened by his bowed head. “It details … everything. Everything about the First Order and everything I’ve done.”

She accepted it, rubbing the small chip between her fingers. “Do you want me to watch this?”

A myriad of emotion swarmed over him buzzing their way through their bond like hornets; grief, disgust, hate, and above all fear. Fear that when she knew everything she would leave him. “You deserve to know.”

She handed the chip back to him and his head jerked up, eyes wide with shock. “You deserve to tell him in your own time.” She kissed his cheek and took his hand leading him down the hall, “what do you want to do? Sleep? Go to the mess, get some food?”

“Can we go outside?” his question was meek, like a child asking for another sweet after receiving more than they already deserve. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the sun.”

* * *

Just like everything else in life, the transition of Ben Solo back into the Resistance was a steady uphill battle. Since Ben was under the what equated to house arrest, and Rey being the supervising officer, wherever he went Rey had to follow and vice versa. She was fine with that about ninety-eight percent of the time as they got to spend a lot of time together. While in the future that might grow old, in the now they were still obsessed with the feel of each others corporeal bodies.

The two percent she was having issue with was that ‘Contained Convict -- Kylo Ren’ was banned from entering or operating any aerial space craft. Therefor that meant Rey was also grounded. When Ben suggested, after she looked wishfully at the sky after a take off, that he’d be willing to spend a few hours back in lock up if she wanted to go flying she had been more careful with her displays of want.

Her greatest fear was that if they got him back in a cell, even for the three hours it would take to run a flight exercise, they would never let him out again. She was more then willing to never be air born if it kept that from happening.

But just because she couldn’t fly the space crafts didn’t mean she had to give up wrenching on them and she and Ben spent their on-duty time in the hanger. While a decent enough pilot, when it came to fixing broken things no one in the Resistance came close to her. She could take a crashed ship, and if there was enough scrap laying around and the welder wasn’t on the fritz, she could get it air-born with in a week. While Ben wasn’t as good at making something out of nothing like Rey, he had terabytes of schematics memorized and what model numbers were able to mix parts without a complete reworking of the system.

When they ran into their first real skirmish Rey was under Ben’s TIE fighter. Reclaimed by the Resistance from where he left it hidden on planet, they were making minor adjustment to its fuel tank so it wouldn’t burn through resources as fast. Ben was at her feet handing her tools as she asked for them when the slur was spat at her.

“First Order whore.”

Together they endured their share of spiteful comments and had decided that ignoring them was the best option but since Ben’s release they had been aimed at him not her. They should have been prepared for the change in tactics when the antagonizers weren’t getting the rise they wanted.

They sure got their rise this time. Rey had a nanosecond of warning through the bond of Ben’s intent before he was acting. She slithered from under the TIE so fast she knocked her head and only just managed to intercept him before he could get his hands on the speaker. His eyes boring into the man, promising murder.

Not knowing what else he to she rose up on tip toe and pressed her lips against his, hoping to change the trajectory of his mind before he did something rash and she lost him. It worked and slowly she saw reason leak back into his eyes though the rage was still very much present.

“Just words,” she spoke against his lips playing with the ends of his hair to calm him further. “Let it go.”

Finally he sighed, laying his head against her shoulder to breath in her scent and work through his anger.  

Out of the corner of her eye she finally saw who had spoken; Kile, a flight crew dispatcher. He had been friendly when she had first joined, a part of Poe’s outer circle, now his pretty face was a molted-red cut by a snarl. Catching her gaze he spat on the ground before turning and walking away.

She felt hundred of eyes on them, the hanger packet after a successful test flight. They had all seen Ben’s slip of control; some looked on in fear, others with a gleam of satisfaction. Rey meet each and every one of them, daring them to do their worst.

* * *

The worst came a lot sooner than Rey could have anticipated.

The were in the mess hall at an empty table in the corner talking over fixes for one of the ships that had an issue listing to the left. They refused to hid out in their room to eat and Rey was shoveling through a second helping as Ben watched on, a tender light in his eyes. They were deciding to test switching one of the stabilizer relays to see if the work around solved the problem when a bite of pain seared across their connection and Ben flinched. Confused, they both turned to see what had caused it.

A man stood there. She didn’t know him, he had joined the Resistance just a few months ago and she hadn't the time or the want to make nice, but she had seen him in Kile’s band.

“I wanted to see if the monster could bleed,” he spat, a deranged smile on his lips and a rusted bit of scrap in his hands.

While the words shocked Ben into immobility, they did the opposite for Rey.

She launched herself from the table taking the man to the ground with a roar. On Jakku, once you got in a fight you didn’t let up until you knew the other person wouldn’t be able to rise and Rey beat him with that thought in mind. Somehow she ripped the makeshift blade from his hands, unclear what she was about to do next but too angry to care, when she felt arms slam around her waist.

Ben.

Pulling _her_ from the downed man.

When she resisted he carried her across the room, pressing her back against the wall to gain control of her as she strained against him intent on her prey.

“Just words,” he soothed in her ear. But it hadn't been just words, her hand curled around his shoulder adrenaline still rushing her system, it had been a realized threat. Their assailants were becoming bolder but Rey had shown them. She wasn’t afraid to fight for what was hers, her knuckles dripped with the proof.

Guards must have heard the commotion as they came to investigate. When Ben nudged her she handed off the makeshift weapon to the uniformed person that came to question them. Seeing the weapon and the bloody man on the ground, he was going to lead them directly to the General but Rey demanded to get Ben’s cut looked at first. There was no telling what kind of bantha fodder was on the dirty metal the jackanape used.

* * *

“Didn’t think it would be you I’d have to worry about,” Leia scolded when they were finally brought to her. She sat behind her desk rubbing her temple.

Ben snorted from the chair positioned next to Rey’s. She turned her glare on him but he had his eyes closed, right fist propping his head up on the arm of the chair.

He was still fighting off the lingering effects of the sedatives medical had flooded his system with. Rey hated it and she hated them but most of all she hated the white bandage that wrapped its way around his upper left arm. She clenched her hands, her own bandages tightening around her bruised knuckles.

“Broken nose, dislocate jaw, fractured skull, concussion,” Poe read from the report in his hands for the man she had sent to a bacta tank. “You can’t go dishing out your own punishment.”

“Hypocrite, _”_ Rey hissed under her breath.

“This is not the same--” Dameron bristled but Leia cut him off with a raised hand.

“That is quiet enough.” She turned sharp eyes Rey who sat up straighter, “you know what you did was wrong, correct.” Lips pinched, Rey gave a sharp nod. “Good. Half rations for a month.”

Ben’s head shot up, knowing Leia had capitalized on the one punishment that would mean anything to Rey. “That’s not fair, she was defending herself.”

“No,” Leia clarified glaring at her son, “if you would have fought back, that would have been defending oneself. From a legal standpoint she attacked a person with no provocation. So,” the General reiterated turning back to Rey, “a month of half rations and,” she set Rey’s own lightsaber on the desk in front of her, “extra assignment detail. The first one being guarding an important asset in our efforts to overthrow the First Order.”

Rey stared at the lightsaber in shock. When Ben had been released into her custody it had been confiscated, officials drawing the line at having their enemy loose _and_ within reaching distance of a super weapon. Rey hadn't needed the thing, had rarely used it when she did have it, but It was one of the few tangible differences in her life and she had felt naked without it hooked to her belt. That she was seeing it again, with Ben still being free, meant Leia was legitimately worried over the attack.

“This is meant as a deterrent,” the General stated over Poe’s outraged squawk. “If you draw it for any reason outside of immediate threat of death I will have the _both_ of you in lock up so fast if will make your head spin. In as separated cells as I can find. Do I make myself clear?”

Rey’s eyes glanced at her saber before flicking up to lock with Leia’s. “I want Ben’s too.”

“Absolutely not,” her voice brooking no argument.

“You want it as a deterrent,” Rey pointed out, knowing how to haggle to get what she wanted. “Put one of those in the hands of somebody who knows how to use it and see how many people mouth off.”

Leia sat back in her chair, shrewd mind thinking it over.

“General,” Poe cautioned when he felt she was buying into what was a terrible idea, “you can’t possibly be thinking of giving a murder a live weapon while he has free rein of the place.”

“If he goes on a rampage he’ll have to get through me first,” Rey said with easy confidants.

“Fine,” Leia tossed Ben’s beat up hilt down next to Rey’s. “This remain in _your_ possession at all times and if _the need arises_ it can be used. But barring an attack I don’t want him _looking_ it.”

Poe turned on Leia. “General, you can’t--”

She turned hard eyes to Poe. “You keep telling me an awful lot of things I ‘can’t do’, captain,” Leia’s tone was carefully controlled ire. “I suggest you change your wording. And your tone while you're at it.”

Poe swallowed tightly, nervous that he had pushed too far. “I strongly advise against giving into the whims of a woman under the control of a known manipulator.”

“You know what, you mulling pile of bantha shit--” Rey began about to lay into her once friend when Ben interrupted.

“I don’t want it.”

The whole room turned to him but his eyes were locked on the black and silver saber. Both of the Resistance Leaders noticed the touch of fear that darkened the man's eyes but they didn't get the near crippling terror that burned through his system at the thought of touching his weapon again. Rey, however, felt it and knew its cause. He believed that the weapon made the man and the only man he had ever been with the red saber was somebody he was trying to run away from.

“Fine,” she said softly as she swiped both light sabers from the desk hooking them to her belt. “If the time comes, you can use mine and I’ll use yours.” She made sure hers was on her right side so he would have easy access if need be.

“‘Under control’ my ass,” Leia growled to Poe as she waved the young people out.

* * *

The light sabers on Rey’s hips did deter most of the loud mouths. It also made people give them a wide birth whether they were walking down the halls or eating in the cantina.

That was until Finn dragged Poe to their lunch table then next day.

“Apologize,” Finn demanded, shoving Poe forward.

“No.”

Finn crossed his arms. “Apologize.”

“I’m not sorry,” Poe ground out.

With a growl of his own Finn leaned in close and whispered something in Poe’s ear. Poe’s face was mutinous when he turned to face Ben. “I’m sorry,” he growled. “Next time I’ll make sure to punch you _before_ I slapped the cuffs on.”

“That’s not an apology,” Finn screeched.

Then Ben did something even Rey hadn't seen before; he laughed. Not a snide, oily, better-then-you cackle but a full body, _joyful_ laugh. Rey looked on enchanted as he had trouble catching his breath. He caught her staring and bent over to kiss her nose.

“I heard about your punishment,” Finn told Rey timidly, breaking up the two love birds. He laid a freeze dried bar on the table; strawberry, her favorite. Shoving his hands in his pockets he had a difficult time meeting her eyes. “I know it’s no excuse but I was scared,” he explained. “Scared you were making a mistake that would get you killed and you wouldn’t listen to me.”

“And do you think I’m still making a mistake?” she asked

“Yes,” he answered succinctly, eye’s finally locking with hers, “but that doesn’t mean I get to leave you alone in it. And maybe you’ll eventually listen to me and save yourself.”

“Or maybe you’ll see that I’m not making a mistake and your just a bone head,” she pointed out. Ben wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek, sensing she needed the comfort.

Finn hesitated at the show of intimacy, his eyes for the first time uncertain. “Maybe.”

“Now that we got the apologies out of the way,” Poe collapsing on the opposite bench, pulling Finn down with him with a guttural sight. “I’ve been running all day.”

Finn rolled his eyes, “he’s been stuck at a desk fielding to the air waves.”

“ _Mentally running_ ,” Poe enunciated. He jerked a petulant chin in Ben’s direction, “ever since he blew up the air waves with his little demands, things have been crazy.”

Ben shrugged, sipping at his tin of water, “the storm troopers deserve the chance to have a life, just like your _friend_ there.” He nodded at Finn who blushed, looking away.

“Ren,” Dameron gave a feral smile, eye’s flashing, “how about you step out in hall with me?”

It was a challenge pure and simple and the air fairly crackled as Ben stood to meet it. Rey glared at Poe, “if you lay a hand on him again…” she let her threat peter off eyes serious.

“It’s fine, love,” Ben kissed the top of her head before following Poe from the mess.

Now that she was away from the ‘corrupted influence,’ Finn wasted no time starting in on her. “Rey are you sure--”

“Yes,” she answered distracted, keeping sharp eyes on the door where Poe and Ben had disappeared through.

Her friend sighed, “you don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“It doesn’t matter, Finn. Any question you could have ask is the same answer. ‘Are you sure you trust him,’ yes. ‘Are you sure you love him,’ yes. ‘Are you sure you’re not making a mistake,’ yes _.”_

“And if you’re wrong?” he questioned softly.

She turned to face him, drawn by the plea in his voice. “If I’m wrong I’ll pay for it with my life, the life of all my friends and the fate of the galaxy as a whole," she told him bluntly. "If you can trust nothing else, trust I know what's at stake, Finn.”

“And all of that is worth him?”

Not sure if she wanted to laugh or cry, Rey closed her eyes hating that she had to keep repeating herself to someone she was once so close with. “ _Yes_.”

Finn sighed rubbing his face with both hands. “I don’t want you hurt.”

“Some nights,” she swallowed around the tightness in her throat, not wanting to relive her memories but knowing Finn needed to hear them. “Some nights, I dream of finding Mica again. He's so small and so still and he begs me to save him but its already to late. Then I wake up to the man who murder him there in my bed. Some nights, I hate myself for it but it feels like I can’t breath until he’s holding me. I’m already hurt, Finn,” she tells her best friend who had left her alone when she needed him most, “but it hurts less when Ben’s there.”

As if his name had summoned him, he and Poe walked back. Neither looked bruised so she raised a questioning brow as he sat down beside her. Ben smirked and shook his head.

“Rey,” Poe braced his hands on the table, drawing her attention. “We’re getting some of the guys together for a poker night, like old times. Finn, and I, would love to see you there.”

She wanted to accept, seeing it as the olive branch it was meant to be. “But Ben--”

“He can come, too,” he glared at the man in question but it didn’t hold its customary heat. If anything he looked a bit chastened. “As long as he promises to lose every hand.”

“Even I’m not that unlucky,” Ben protested, accommodating Rey as she curled into his side.

“Then use your jedi mind bullshit to loose. I’m going to be really pissed it I lose any money to you.”

“You don’t have to play,” Ben smirked.

“I shouldn’t have to put up with this.” Poe shook his head at the arrogant pup before giving directions to Rey. “Our room, nineteen hundred, buy in is an hour of shift duty if you don’t got coin.”

* * *

She debated not going for the rest of the afternoon, procrastinating buttoning up the X-wing with the listing problem until Ben physically pulled the wrench from her hand and bundled her up to the designated meeting place. She was happy to say she had fun and nobody got in a fist fight. There was only one, slight, issue when they first arrived but after Poe made it abundantly clear that they were staying and several people left the rest of the night went of perfectly, even if it was only their four.

It marked a turning point, though, in people’s demeanor towards Ben.

Finn and Poe were liked by everyone and they make it a goal to eat with them most days, prompting others to stop by the once empty table for a quick chat or to get a question answered. And when the Infamous Kylo Ren doesn’t make an appearance and start ordering heads, people stayed a little longer. Soon they were bringing Rey into their conversations and several brave souls even made polite overtures to Ben.

Two months after the galaxy wide message, storm troops were almost a thing of the past, thousands of them joining directly to the Resistance to help fight off the last dregs of the First Order. They keep their poker nights on and new people start slowly trickling in and life goes well.

Until it doesn't.

Their enemies get lucky on a surprised attack and it decimates a tenth of the Rebellion's fleet. The base goes into evac-mode. Finn lost a leg when his ejection seat parachute malfunctioned and sent him spiraling into the ground. Once they settled on a new world, Rey personally made sure that every one of eject seats were in full working order. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, grieving from all the loss, Ben is right there with her and when they wake up in the morning he is the first to offer a hand to help rebuild.

But people are angry and scared once more and an easy target for them to release those emotions on is Ben. Rey feels on edge constantly, eyes constantly scanning to see that if when people come too close they mean him harm. On the third day in a row that she throws up Ben puts his foot down and refuses eat in the mess.

It doesn't stop Rey’s anxiety. Even though she’s back on full rations, she starts to hoard food again. With poker night being off the books Ben and Rey become near hermits, venturing forth only for their shifts in the hanger and to check on Finn and Poe. After much prompting she even convinces Ben’s to help break into the new base’s schematics and find all the possible escape routes if someone were to break into their room. She can’t sleep without a huge weighted object in front of the door and Ben's arms around her.

“This has got to stop,” Ben finally tells her one morning holding her hair as she pukes in the fresher.

“I’m fine.”

“You are not _fine,_ ” he growled getting her a cup of water. He crouched down rubbing his jaw as he watched her rinse her mouth and spit it in the basin. “We need to talk about me going back into Lock Up.”

“No.” She flushed the toilet, marching back into the bedroom.

He followed. “Just until things calm down. It’s not--”

She whirled on him anger making her tone sharp, “I said no, Ben.”

“Then help me figure something else out!” He stepped closer pulling her into his arms as one hand came up to cup her cheek, “I can’t keep watching you hurting yourself and do nothing.”

“If you go back in, they will never let you out.” Her hands were shaking and she tightened them on his wrist, “I need you here. You can’t go away. Please, I can’t lose you, too.”

And suddenly she's crying.

“Oh, honey,” he pressed her face into his shoulder, holding her as she shattered, rocking her gently, “I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

Ben slid her tablet in front of her at breakfast and she glanced over it not believing what she’s reading.

“I don’t need a psychiatrist,” she growled shoving the tablet back at him.

He spoke over the top of her protests, “Dr. Barriss is well respected in her field and has been with the resistance since I was a child. She’s Mirialan and has studied extensively about Force--”

“You’re not listening to me!” she snapped

“I’m always listening to you!” he roared back. Conscious of the eyes turned their way, he lowered his voice. “I can also hear what you not saying. I feel your emotions wash over me in the night and I know when you don’t sleep because you’re listening to every creek outside our door. Since the attack you’ve been ... off. Part of that’s my fault, you’re so good at bouncing back after everything that knocks you down that I left you to flounder for too long.”

“And you think spilling my guts will help that,” Rey demanded.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully crossing his arms on the table, looking her dead in the eye, “but we need to try something.”

“I don’t need it, I’m fine.”

Like a challenge he laid his arm on the table between them, palm up. She immediately clenched her hands into fists, hiding them into her lap.

He sighed, mentally tapping on her walls asking her to trust him and open up. She hesitated and finally, with a whimper, placed her fingers to his.

Slowly he lead her into his mind, past the surface level they typically reside in just being close to one another and into the depths of his soul. She’s been here once or twice before. The first time, on the star destroyer, where the images were too chaotic and came too fast to make sense of. The second time, dragged in through a dream where he watched himself kill his father over and over again. She could feel the ever present darkness inside him still.

He turned them around then, leading them into her own mind, deeper the she had been willing to go for a long time. Darkness poured in through invisible cracks leaking like oil and drowning out her light. She shrank back from the dark well that was now her central being. Before she could run she felt Ben wrap his arms grounding her to something real before she could lose herself.

She blinked open her eyes feeling them wet with tears.  

”We’re too powerful to be left unchecked and our minds are our worst enemy." He reached across the table to wipe her tears away. "I can’t lose you, either.”

Rey goes to the appointment. Ben is waiting outside the door for her and they don’t say anything as they walk side by side to the hanger but that night, before bed, Rey picks up the tablet and requests another session in a week’s time.

It’s not an instantaneous cure but it does help. Rey feels more calm and slowly she gains control of herself where she’s not jumping at every sound. She comes to realize that people are not glaring at them and wishing them harm as they walk past, they are simply acknowledging another life form in their space. They start taking their meals back in the mess hall and people actually come and sit with them, asking about how Finn is doing with his rehabilitation. They even sneak in the hospital wing for an impromptu poker night that is quickly to disbanded when the medical staff kicks them out for being too loud.

She’s annoyed when she still randomly throws up but she’s starting to remember what happy feels like.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! I'm working on a final part now and hope to have it up soon!
> 
> Have you read the earlier parts?


End file.
